乐动体育滚球

The World According to a Five Year Old

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By Wendy Wheatley

乐动体育滚球 Mommy, why is snow cold?

Because it’s winter – and don’t eat the yellow snow, honey.

乐动体育滚球But Mommy, why does it snow when it’s cold?

So the weather man will actually know what season we’re in.

乐动体育滚球What’s a weather man?

乐动体育滚球The guy on TV who buffers himself by predicting 50/50 chance of snow.

乐动体育滚球What’s 50/50 mean?

80/20.

Mommy, why is the sun out in the daytime?

So we know it’s time to get up in the morning.

乐动体育滚球But why can’t I see the sun right now?

That means it’s nighttime.

乐动体育滚球But I’m still up.

That’s right – time for bed.

10 more minutes.

Make it 5.

Why?

Because I said so.

Why do you always say that?

Because my mommy always said it to me and you will someday say it to your daughter.

But you still didn’t answer my question.

Huh? Did you say something, honey?

乐动体育滚球Mommy, why is Daddy’s hair longer than yours?

Because he’s silly.

Will I have long hair too?

Probably – it’s hereditary. You’re silly too.

Why do chickens lay eggs?

乐动体育滚球So we can have scrambled eggs.

乐动体育滚球You mean we’re eating a BABY CHICKEN!??!

乐动体育滚球Oops – don’t ask what’s in the Chicken McNuggets – you’ll have a coronary.

乐动体育滚球What’s a coronary?

What’ll you give me by the time I’m 35.

乐动体育滚球You’re old, Mommy.

乐动体育滚球Gee thanks.

乐动体育滚球Will I be old someday?

Old is only in your head.

乐动体育滚球Just like the little mouse that’s running on the wheel?

What?

That’s how Daddy says we think. A little mouse runs on a wheel and ….

I get the picture. Don’t ever listen to what your father tells you.

乐动体育滚球Daddy said the same about you.

Well, I’m right, though.

Oh – well why do you and Daddy fight sometimes?

Well, because we love each other.

乐动体育滚球I don’t understand.

I don’t either. It sounded good in theory though.

Mommy, why do people die?

乐动体育滚球Well, I – um.

乐动体育滚球Will I die too?

Oh baby. Let’s talk about happy things.

乐动体育滚球Like when I went on the ride at the fair and almost threw up.

Well, I guess that’s a bit better.

Let’s go to the fair right now!

Honey, it’s the middle of winter! It’s only 10 degrees outside.

乐动体育滚球Celsius or Fahrenheit?

Who taught you that?!

My teacher did.

乐动体育滚球Well, I’ll have to have a talk with her.

Good – she said she wanted to have a talk with you, too.

Uh oh.

Mommy – where do babies come from?

Go ask your father – he’s the self-proclaimed expert in that category, dear.

Wendy



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